this is not a love song. it's a sonnet.

Lost - Cool Calm Pete

in honor of formality and traditonal poetry, i give you Francisco Petrarch. enjoy.

Sonnet 333

My sad verse, go to the harsh stone
that hides my precious treasue in the earth,
call to her there, she will reply from heaven,
though her mortal part is in a low, dark place.
Say to her, I'm already tired of living,
of navigating through these foul waves:
but gathering up the scattered leaves,
step by step, like this, I follow her,
only I go speaking of her, living and dead,
yet alive, and made immortal now,
so that the world can know of her, and love her.
Let it please her to watch for my passing,
that is near now: let us meet together, and her
draw me, and call me, to what she is in heaven.


Francisco Petrarch

our words have formed a death sentence.

this weekend was full of fun and games, but now it's time to get down to business. i need to focus, focus, focus.

priorities as follows:
1. escuela
2. 6:01
3. 1000 moments
4. barfly art show

get that b boy stance.

i dream of being coordinated enough to get down like this. unfortunately my equilibrium is equivalent that that of a three year old. i guess i'll have to come to terms with my role as an awe-struck spectator.

old lady.

i'm at my best when i'm at my worst
i'm at my worst when it's not rehearsed
i don't wanna know the goddamn words
i don't wanna have to spell it out
don't wanna mumble what i'm tryin to say
i wanna scream it from my foaming mouth.

what does it mean to be human?

sitting at eclipse. my belly is full of veggie lovers pizza and icky ale. questioning what it means to be human? beyond blood satiating the thirsty heart, pumping sustenance through arteries, veins and capillaries.

realize that this moment, in all of its ordinary glory, is the meaning. to partake in the pleasure of our senses, wash it down with a sexy gulp of delicious beer and to ask questions.

one must never stop asking questions.

droppin knowledge.

russel left this as a comment to my last posting. idk if he wrote it, it's a song or a poem, but it's pretty intense.

What happened to you?
You're not the same
Something in your head
Made a violent change
It's in your head
FILLER
You call it religion
You're full of shit
Was she really worth it?
She cost you your life
You'll never leave her side
She's gonna be your wife
You call it romance
You're full of shit
Your brain is clay
What's going on?
You picked up a bible
And now you're gone
You call it religion
You're full of shit
FILLER

thatz whatz up.
correlates with a quote my coworker dropped. had to write it down.
"you are who you pretend to be. so, be careful who you pretend to be."
kurt vonnegut

at work today this young man traveling from south america asked what he should order. i suggested a milkshake, because they're delicious. duh. and HE HAD NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE. so, i made him a scrumptious mocha milkshake with a proposterous amount of whipped cream. the whole cafe watched as he took his first sip. his reaction was priceless! (he loved it, as to be expected) and everyone proceeded to clap. it was a perfect moment. my milkshakes bring all the boyz to the yard, damn right.

AND.
i let a ton of people sketch/write in my trusty notebook this weekend. marvin, ryan, tony, loco homeless gentleman, danielle and some people i don't know. i kind of like having other people contribute to my pages. if you see me out and about ask me for my notebook. draw me a pretty picture, write me a poem.

no more ego, please.

Dont Be Cruel - Elvis Presley

when we focus more on individual advancement than our undeniable connectivity, we further separate ourselves from truth. the result being ideas of grandeur, who is better and those who are not. it's all talk and there is too much going around. stop with the ego.

love your neighbor.
love your enemy.
just be.

mumbo jumbo.

i got to talk to bradon yesterday. he was in bangkok, and now he's on his way to the full moon party (in laos? maybe idk) so here's a global shout out to my favorite b boy. i miss you and your shenanigans. show them what's really good.



west side, sucka.

we the living.

i barely had time to breathe today. being busy is a lovely distraction from all of the mundanity, but as to be expected, it gets stressful. after about six cups of coffee (those one dollar refills get me every time) that reliable anxiety began to tighten in my chest. then, out of nowhere, a little guardian angel came to provide some natural sedation.

this random guy in one of my classes, whom i've never talked to, gave me a book. We the Living by Ayn Rand. if you aren't familiar, she's the author of The Fountainhead. he said that me and my writing reminded him of the heroine of the novel.

i haven't begun the book yet (i have absolutely no time for leisure this week), but i read the teaser synopsis located right before the foreword:

"In a bitter struggle of the individual against the collective, three people stand forth with the mark of the unconquered in their bearing: Kira, who wants to be a builder, and the two men who love her- Leo, an aristocrat, and Andrei, a communist. What happens to the defiant ones? What happens to those who succumb? Who are the winners in this conflict? Against a vivid panorama of political revolution and personal revolt, Ayn Rand offers an answer that challenges the modern conscience."

it was a very sweet gesture, and really helped me to step back for a second to calm down. good things happen when you least expect it :)

this is for the working class.

why my life is awesome.

you know when everything comes together. inner contentment is mirrored by outward blessings. that would be my life. currently. i'll give you a little rundown, because i want to share the joy.

1. i am officially employed 2. 6:01 rehearsals everyday are phenomenal. surrounded by intelligent/like-minded/hillarious people. working together towards a common goal. [buy your tickets now, i have plenty] 3. getting back a sizable amount on my tax returns. which means i can pay my medical/book bills. oh, holla. 4. i'm meeting people that are actually worth meeting, all the time. 5. writing incessantly. 6. my bike just a got a tune up and rides beautifully. and i ride everyday. 7. going to at least two shows per week. 8. gettin published. 9. living situation is perfect.
10.

all in all, i'm at peace. THANK THA GOOD LAWD JEZUS. metaphorically speaking, of course.