for brittney carratelli. mi corazon.

i'm currently in the computer lab at school, procrastinating before i am forced to sit through over an hour of mathematical equations which my mind refuses to accept willingly. i've been chit-chatting with one of my favorite people in the entire world, brittney carratelli, who i left down in warm san diego :(

amidst our conversation, we came to the conclusion that our lives are basically one big rap video. i'm telling you, someone should document this. you'd make bank for sure.

how so, you ask?

1. we are I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T womenz. don't think cuz you buy us dinner we gon' like you. please trust, a diva is a female version of hustla', and we be hustlin.

2. we roll on dubs. in my case, on a bike on dubs, and in brittney's case in her tiburon aka t.pain.

3. boys have the propensity to think we're actually into them, "on they're nuts", if you will. when in fact we just playin the game better than even big pun. please believe we understand the inner workings of a male mind. we sleep with you, if in fact, we aren't "on your nuts". why? once a woman sleeps with a man, he loses interest, and so, if you really like someone, generally, we refrain from intercourse as a means of out smartting the male species. in other words, don't be braggin that you got some.

4. it is a consistent habit to speak in ebonicz. terms such as playa, sucka, scrilla, wreck shop, do work, keep it real, oh, holla, etc. etc. are commonplace in our well-versed vocabularies.

5. 151 and orange soda is our drink of choice. especially when in search of t.i. i'm telling you.
SNAP, CRACKLE, MOTHA'FUCKA GOT POPPED.

6. infatuation with all things fried. in brittney's case chicken fingers, and mine chocolate. a fried snickers is where it's at.

7. we got haterz, and we don't give a fuck.

8. we drop knowledge at the clubz. i'm talking double fistin' crunk cups on the dance flo'. ALL NIGHT LONG. in honor of lionel richie. cuz we keep it old school.

9. andres 3.99 champagne is a staple in our repertoire of social outtings. ghetto fabulous. mickey's is so fraternity boy 40 oz. hands.

10. we are all too familiar with bitches and hos. we're probably making fun of you girls. in your downtown shirt dresses and wobbly heels. ya'll don't know how to keep it classy. it's okay, we know it's a tough job, and we'll let you girls do it.

11. there is no denying we keep it real, but i have to go to class. so this is all you get.

and brittney, i miss you.

and reader, watch this. laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU